Smoke Gets In Your Eyes and Other Lessons From the Crematory

Smoke Gets In Your Eyes

By Caitlin Doughty

In preparation for Caitlin Doughty's second book I thought I would re-read her first. This member of the Order of the Good Death is a YouTube favourite of mine. I regularly enjoy her Morbid Minutes and Ask A Mortician series.

Doughty writes very much like she speaks, making this an enjoyable read. I recommend watching a few of her episodes of Ask A Mortician before you take out this book so that you can get her voice and tone in your mind before you read.

In Smoke Gets in Your Eyes Doughty takes the reader through the beginning of her carrier as a Mortician. From her start at a crematory through her schooling to become a mortician. Readers learn many of the hidden aspects of the funeral industry; from the corporations behind many funeral homes to how the laws and regulations vary from state to state, traditional burial and natural burial, embalming and cremation and so many other topics that some readers may find hard to face. Doughty has written a clear and educated view of this sometimes taboo subject and she has placed her signature lightheartedness onto every page.

Doughty's use of humour and her complete lack of fear on the subject of death helped me understand sides of death that I didn't even know existed. She breaks down the walls and tells it like it is. One of my favourite chapters is right at the beginning when she gets her first job at the crematory. Doughty describes in detail the process and actually helped to put me at ease. I was one of those people that thought a crematory just threw a bunch of bodies in a big oven and gave the family a bag of random ashes, now I know better, thank you Caitlin!

Whether you are a Deathling or just curious about the funeral industry or maybe you just want to prepare for your own death this book as well as Caitlin Doughty's web series are helpful tools to be enjoyed and learned from.

All My Puny Sorrows

Miriam Toews has this way of writing lines that are so beautiful that sometimes I have to close her books for a moment just to marvel at them. All My Puny Sorrows is a book that is full of such moments; alternating equally between being eloquently wise, wickedly funny and jaggedly heartbreaking.

In every one of her novels Toews balances on the delicate line between tragedy and comedy. That is what makes her novels so real and relatable, a big salad bowl full of happy and sad ingredients. Often the relationships the novels explore are relationships within families and Toews’s portrayal never comes across false. The sadness doesn’t come across as melodrama, the happiness isn’t forced.

All My Puny Sorrows is the story of a family- two sisters and their parents cocooned in a small Mennonite community in Manitoba. Elf is the loud, romantic non-conformist who blatantly rejects the church with her piano playing. Yoli is clearly in awe of her older sister, who she watches carefully and with clear adoration. Thirty or so years later, Elf is a world-famous pianist with a devoted live-in partner, while Yoli is divorced, unemployed and raising two teenagers alone. Despite that, Elf has a tendency toward increasingly violent attempted suicides. After Elf’s latest in a series of life-long suicide attempts, Yoli attempts to help save her sister and fights against her own resentment and pain.

It isn’t an easy read.  The honest examination of a family coping with a suicidal relative is heavy, painful stuff. Still, Yoli is a resourceful, funny character and the warmth of Toews’ writing style and the deep connection between the sisters kept me reading even through the darker moments. Not only that, but I loved every character including the minor ones – texts to Yoli from her teens were a comedic highlight. The novel should be grim, but it’s not- I finished it feeling genuinely uplifted. That’s life, it reminded me, all the good and bad, the hilarious and absolutely terrible. And beyond it all, what we’re left with are the people who love us and for however long they can, they help us get through.

Me before you

Me Before You

by Jojo Moyes

I had heard the name Jojo Moyes buzzing around the book blogs in the past year or so, but I hadn't read anything by her until now. Me before you is fantastic. Dealing with some very serious issues that make you think long after you've finished reading the book.

Heart-wrenching, funny, thought provoking - an overall great read. Jojo Moyes is now on my favourite authors list, and I can't wait to read the sequel, After you.

H is for Hawk

H is for Hawk

by Helen Macdonald

I don't read a lot of non-fiction, but when I read a review about how fantastic this book was I decided to give it a try - and I'm so glad I did! First of all, the writing is phenomenal. The author Helen Macdonald definitely has a way with words (the back cover notes she is also a poet and it shows). Her description of her goshawk and country surroundings make it all so real (even the gross parts where the hawk is tearing into wee little animals!).

However, even though the book is slotted into the bird subject area of the library, it is about much more than a hawk and how to train it. Macdonald wrote this book after the passing of her father which hit her really hard. Training the goshawk helped her deal with her loss and the devastating grief that gripped her when her father died. Loss happens at the most unexpected times and Macdonald's book reminds us to make the most of the time you have with loved ones. Always an important reminder and one easily forgotten.